Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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