another moral hangover. fuck.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I am midnight drunk by noon
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
