I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize