I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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