Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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