Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Your cock deserves a montage
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
