He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
