What a fucking waste of an outfit
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
