yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
