Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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