why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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