PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Is it because I queefed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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