I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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