with your own penis?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
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Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
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The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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