Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
