operation harelip BJ is a go
honey bunches of taint.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
