How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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