STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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