Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize