babies were throwing up all over the place
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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