i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Randomize
