he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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