Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
