it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Soap is not a condiment
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize