Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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