he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
