first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
