so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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