I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Acid is not a monday night drug
smell my finger.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
