YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
