I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize