she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
