That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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