I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
she looked like the before picture.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
