Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Still dying that you shit outside
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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