Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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