she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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