Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
