well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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