I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
