it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
