i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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