you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize