I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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