Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
