You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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