My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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