he wants to bone in the snuggie
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
and she was petting her beer can
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
