The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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