So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
