I got chris browned last night
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
