He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
