I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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