Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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