I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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