dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Someone signed my nipple.
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