I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
